How to Love Somebody And Lose Your Mind

So, my friend recently posted a list of her “Requirements to be my boyfriend.”

And I was thinking about what I would write on such a list.

Although there’s only one person in mind for me, anyway, I still want to put it out there that there’s still certain standards I’d like him to meet.

・He should call me.  I want to know that he’s thinking of me, and if he calls me, that’s a pretty clear sign that I was on his mind.  I also appreciate a text that’s not just an answer to a text I’d sent him.  Not that I don’t appreciate the answer texts as well, of course, but I feel like I’m somewhat ignored if I don’t send him a message.  Actions speak louder than words.  Speak even louder by giving me a call.

・If he wants me to do something, he really should tell me.  If it’s something important to him, I’m going to take it seriously. Period.  Even if it’s embarrassing, just pull me aside and say it if you can get over the embarrassment of voicing it.  I’ll certainly try to do the same, of course.

・Treat me like a girlfriend instead of just a girl friend.  It’s a little vague, I suppose, but it’s another reminder that the relationship is deeper than “just a friend” or “just another girl.”  Because I don’t want to be “just another girl” to you.  I want to be “the one I can’t do without.” 

・Respect my opinions.  Because I don’t always voice them, I might not appear to some people to have them, but I have some very strong opinions.  If you think there’s something wrong with how I see something, then go ahead, voice your own opinion, tell me what’s up.  We can talk it over, and it’s very possible that I’ll change some of my opinions.

・Learn what I like and don’t like, and I’ll certainly do the same for you.  I already know a few food preferences, and a few pet peeves, as well.  Let me know more than just random things that aren’t as often coming up as other things.  Tell me your world, and I’ll share with you my own. 

・I understand wanting to be with other people, and all, but fit me into your schedule.  More than just a visit or two, hanging around, I want to be someone you can be happy doing even the most random things with.  Going to see a new movie in a theater together, or just getting away together, I’m going to be happier if you want to do more than just sit around when I’m there.  Even my aunt and uncle, who have been married for years, still date.  If you’re my boyfriend, I feel it’s my right to expect to be treated as though you will want both time “out” with me and time “inside” with me, too.

・As I said, hanging out with other people is fine.  It’s great, actually.  I do, too, so I don’t think I’m asking too much to say let me hang out with my friends about as much as you hang out with yours.  I mean, I don’t mind you calling me if I’m with friends (we’re probably talking about you, after all), I’ll think it’s cute if you call a couple of times an hour or text me a lot to say that you miss me, that you think of me, etcetera, or even ask if I can do this or that for you while I’m out doing things, but if you are getting jealous of my friends, don’t trust that I’m where I say I am, anything like that, what am I supposed to do?

・Give me time.  There may be things that I’m dealing with, or things that it’s really difficult for me to say, but I’ll get around to it when it’s something really important.  I have before, you know, I’ll definitely continue trying to say what I most want to say.  Even when you don’t necessarily want to be, patience with me pays off big-time sometimes.  I may not be patient at all times, myself, but if it’s important (or seems like it could easily be so), I certainly try to be.  Patience.  Remember it, because I might be the best person to teach it to you, since I’ll be learning it as we go, myself.

I suppose I started writing soon after I started as though speaking to somebody very specific, yes?  And if that specific person reads this, let me assume that I’m still going to have these very same standards in what I’m wanting him to consider in regards to us as a “couple”, instead of us as “friends.”  I still think it’s going to be slightly easier to talk things like this out couple-to-couple, though, as expectations, standards, and requirements for love don’t always work out as well as one may hope.  This is why two together need to work those things out as best as they can.

But that’s me talking.  The girl who’s still got somebody very specific eating up her heart.